I've Been Listening to a Lot of Irish Wooden Flute Music
Things that inspire me. Things to speak on. Scroll to the bottom to see further reading and suggested listening!
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Tarot for the End of Times is one of my favorite podcasts. I discovered it while I was delivering food in 2021 and really getting into tarot. This podcast is a gift, and Sarah Cargill has blessed us with her insights and vulnerability. Each episode deals with a card from the Major Arcana, starting with the Fool and ending with the World. The show began in May of 2020 and she just released the World episode in September of 2023 - it took her over three years to go on this journey. The Tower alone took seven months. For me, it is important to center queer, Black perspectives as I continue to learn and grow spiritually. This is especially so that I do not appropriate or misuse traditional spiritual practices that are not mine. Sarah has been a great teacher.
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I’ve been thinking about my actions, trying to put intention into each one. I want to help cultivate hope. There’s so much despair to feel in this world and it is important to name the genocide happening to Palestinians. We’re also seeing more information about the silent genocides happening in Sudan and the Democratic Republic of the Congo. I can scroll social media right now and find videos of things that should not exist in this world. There are no words to describe the things that exist in this world. My thoughts and heart are with Bisan, Motaz, Hamza, Hind, and everyone moving to end the violence. I am seeing a collective veil lift from the eyes of the West, while those in power try to keep our eyes closed or turned away. Even to witness is resistance.
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Community is natural to living things, nations and their borders are not. We crave belonging. None of us could survive past infancy without the people that surrounded us. Some believe that their own community can’t have peace or safety until everyone inside of it is the same. I’ve often wondered how people would actually feel if a white ethno-state was achieved. I don’t believe it’s possible - there will always be fighting about who belongs, who is the right kind of white. Who presents their gender the correct way, who speaks with the right words and accents. The white supremacist project is always doomed to fail. In undergrad, I conducted independent research on white supremacist communities online. What I found was incredible loneliness.
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Hatred is a secondary emotion that can arise from fear, anger, or pain. The secondary emotions we feel are informed by our belief systems and upbringing. I am someone who believes in accountability, empathy, and respect. When someone acts violently with impunity, I become angry and afraid. Even the word violence carries subjective definitions, and what may be violence to me might be indifference to someone else. The closer violence comes to me or my loved ones, the more likely I am to feel hatred towards the perceived perpetrators. Hatred, like any emotion, is a neutral and normal human experience. How we react to emotions, how we process them, that is what defines who we are. Hatred as a constant state is dangerous.
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The doomsday clock is a tool to keep us frozen in place. The apocalypse has already existed for so many groups of people, for so many generations. The story of being forcibly removed from one’s ancestral land is not a new one. Migration is a natural part of this world, but migration is not voluntary if the conditions of life have been intentionally taken away. There is dark comfort in knowing that nothing happening now is new, has been ongoing, because that means people have already been surviving for so long. It is a privilege to only now begin to feel the devastation of systems that have existed for hundreds of years. Part of my resistance is actively fighting to slow down, process, listen, and rest, as these are all things that help me conserve my energy.
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The tower is crumbling around us. Now is a time for gathering our resources and letting go of what hinders our collective survival. We are not adapted for what we’re experiencing and we won’t always know what to do. I remember seeing or hearing someone talk about how hope is not an individual burden, but something we nurture collectively. Hope cannot exist alone. I have been surprised to find that I feel some of the deepest hope now than I ever have before. I am here because I want us to feel hopeful together. I want to call out to others, I want to find laughter in the mountains and I want leaves to dance on water. My spirits, community, and the divine are the source of my glow. I am the lens through which I see the world. I am looking at you.
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Photo by Alex Padurariu on Unsplash
